This is a commercial from aperture science.
We used to create shower curtains. THINK AGAIN.
NOW WE CREATE BADASS TURRETS, AND WE ALSO CREATE ROCKET SENTRIES!
We created the prototype portal gun!
Here is our catalog buy buy buy buy buy!!1111!!!!!!!!ONE!
Aperture Science Automated Sentry Gun: $1900 wait ignore that now 50% off for a limited time only!
Now $950 for limited time only!
Aperture Science Automated Rocket Sentry Turret: $5000 50% discount for limited time only! Buy 3 get 1.
Now $2500 for limited time only!
Aperture Science Sentry Gun Keychain: $1 Show your love for aperture science! Impress your friends!
Aperture Science Cap: $10 Show your love for aperture science! Impress your friends!
Aperture Science Portal Gun! OUT OF PROTOTYPE!: $60000 Amazing 90% discount as a celebration for out of prototype! Buy now! Only for the first week! Now $6000! For limited time only!
Aperture Science Personality Core: $30000 What catalogue would be complete without our signature Personality Cores! Now 50% off! For limited time only! Now 15000! For limited time only!
And now a word from our sponsors: Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace! Play it cool, play it cool here come the space cops. System on trial! Guilty! Of not being in space! Buy a ticket for our space hotel! It's a nice beautiful hotel! With lots of rooms! Only $1000 per day!
And now a commercial from black mesa
Hello, and welcome to black mesa. The long time rivals of aperture science. We sell little pets, along with prototype weapons. Here is our catalog.
Pets: Headcrab: Debeaked and completely harmless. $100
Chumtoad: We have a few, and we are giving them away! To a good home.
Houndeye: Tamed and easy to train! $500
Garangutar: Not sure if you are willing to take this fella home, but if you are, you can pay us $500.
Alien Controller: Tamed and will make a great pair with those smart guys out there! $200.
And finally.... Snark: Tamed! Cute little things. Great to keep in your house! $100 for a nest.
Weapons: Gravity Gun: Still in prototype! $2000.
Tau Cannon: Still in prototype! $2000.
Hivehand: Not sure how to work these things, but you're welcome to try! $20.
And finally, mann co!
HELLO! IT'S ME, SAXTON HALE! THESE WEAPONS FROM MANN CO CONSTANTLY BREAK DOWN AND CATCH ON FIRE! BUT THEY ARE GUARANTEED BY ME! SHOP SHOP SHOP! JUST LOOK AT THESE HAPPY CUSTOMERS!
Mister Jane Doe: Buy from this shop! You can get weapons! And hats! And it is supported by me! BUY BUY SHOP!
Scout: Hey, I don't even know where to start, new weapons almost every day, this is the best weapons shop.
Pyro: Mmmph mmph mmmph mga mmmmph! Omma omma! Mmmmph! Mmmmmph! Mga Mmph Mmph!
Tavish Degroot: "Drunken slurs" "Hiccups" "More Drunken slurs"
Heavy: Why buy from shops for babies! Buy from shops for real men! And get hats!
Medic: Ahahaha! Vat a bloodbasz! Oh, Jah, zat shop ist gut. But I jast kan't pay attention weeth all zeeze bloodbaszs!
Spy: Who knows what you will find in ze Mann co crates? I guarantee to shop here.
Mr Mundy: Ahh, that shop is rubbis- "Dying screams" NOTHING TO SEE HERE PEOPLE, MOVE ALONG.
Dell Cohnager: Grrrrr. WHY DON'T YOU SAY SOMETHING ENGINEE- "Dying screams of saxton hale" Gotta move that gear up! These building are made by me, built by me, and you best hope, not pointed at you.
OWW. FRESH OUTTA RESPAWN. ANYWAY, HERE ARE SOME WEAPONS AND HATS. BLAH BLAH BLAH, SHOP SHOP SHOP. OWW! "Cracking Noises"
Scattergun $500
Rocket Launcher $1000
Flamethrower $1000
Grenade Launcher $1000
Minigun $5000
Shotgun $500
Syringe Gun $500
Sniper Rifle $1000
Revolver $500
Grenaider's Softcap $20
Mann Co Cap Free with every purchase!
And those are the 3 commercials. I worked 30 hard minutes to make this, you should be happy.
No comments:
Post a Comment