Aperture Science! Black Mesa! MANN CO!

This is a commercial from aperture science.

We used to create shower curtains. THINK AGAIN.
NOW WE CREATE BADASS TURRETS, AND WE ALSO CREATE ROCKET SENTRIES!
We created the prototype portal gun!
Here is our catalog buy buy buy buy buy!!1111!!!!!!!!ONE!

Aperture Science Automated Sentry Gun: $1900 wait ignore that now 50% off for a limited time only!
                                                                Now $950 for limited time only!
Aperture Science Automated Rocket Sentry Turret: $5000 50% discount for limited time only! Buy 3 get 1.
                                                                      Now $2500  for limited time only!
Aperture Science Sentry Gun Keychain: $1 Show your love for aperture science! Impress your friends!

Aperture Science Cap: $10 Show your love for aperture science! Impress your friends!

Aperture Science Portal Gun! OUT OF PROTOTYPE!: $60000 Amazing 90% discount as a celebration for out of prototype! Buy now! Only for the first week! Now $6000! For limited time only!

Aperture Science Personality Core: $30000 What catalogue would be complete without our signature Personality Cores! Now 50% off! For limited time only! Now 15000! For limited time only!

And now a word from our sponsors: Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace! Play it cool, play it cool here come the space cops. System on trial! Guilty! Of not being in space! Buy a ticket for our space hotel! It's a nice beautiful hotel! With lots of rooms! Only $1000 per day!

And now a commercial from black mesa

Hello, and welcome to black mesa. The long time rivals of aperture science. We sell little pets, along with prototype weapons. Here is our catalog.

Pets: Headcrab: Debeaked and completely harmless. $100
        Chumtoad: We have a few, and we are giving them away! To a good home.
        Houndeye: Tamed and easy to train! $500
        Garangutar: Not sure if you are willing to take this fella home, but if you are, you can pay us $500.
        Alien Controller: Tamed and will make a great pair with those smart guys out there! $200.
And finally.... Snark: Tamed! Cute little things. Great to keep in your house! $100 for a nest.

 Weapons: Gravity Gun: Still in prototype! $2000.
                 Tau Cannon: Still in prototype! $2000.
                 Hivehand: Not sure how to work these things, but you're welcome to try! $20.
           
And finally, mann co!

HELLO! IT'S ME, SAXTON HALE! THESE WEAPONS FROM MANN CO CONSTANTLY BREAK DOWN AND CATCH ON FIRE! BUT THEY ARE GUARANTEED BY ME! SHOP SHOP SHOP! JUST LOOK AT THESE HAPPY CUSTOMERS!

Mister Jane Doe: Buy from this shop! You can get weapons! And hats! And it is supported by me! BUY BUY SHOP!

Scout: Hey, I don't even know where to start, new weapons almost every day, this is the best weapons shop.

Pyro: Mmmph mmph mmmph mga mmmmph! Omma omma! Mmmmph! Mmmmmph! Mga Mmph Mmph!

Tavish Degroot: "Drunken slurs" "Hiccups" "More Drunken slurs"

Heavy: Why buy from shops for babies! Buy from shops for real men! And get hats!

Medic: Ahahaha! Vat a bloodbasz! Oh, Jah, zat shop ist gut. But I jast kan't pay attention weeth all zeeze bloodbaszs!


Spy: Who knows what you will find in ze Mann co crates? I guarantee to shop here.


Mr Mundy: Ahh, that shop is rubbis- "Dying screams" NOTHING TO SEE HERE PEOPLE, MOVE ALONG.


Dell Cohnager: Grrrrr. WHY DON'T YOU SAY SOMETHING ENGINEE- "Dying screams of saxton hale" Gotta move that gear up! These building are made by me, built by me, and you best hope, not pointed at you.


OWW. FRESH OUTTA RESPAWN. ANYWAY, HERE ARE SOME WEAPONS AND HATS. BLAH BLAH BLAH, SHOP SHOP SHOP. OWW! "Cracking Noises"

Scattergun $500

Rocket Launcher $1000

Flamethrower $1000


Grenade Launcher $1000


Minigun $5000


Shotgun $500


Syringe Gun $500


Sniper Rifle $1000


Revolver $500


Grenaider's Softcap $20


Mann Co Cap Free with every purchase!


And those are the 3 commercials. I worked 30 hard minutes to make this, you should be happy.




              

Someones into limbo........

This is weird. Did Deadmau5 play limbo? Possibly.

I make long blogs

Do you like my blogs? Here are pics for the Urban Professional set that came out from steam workshop before it was converted.

Phew Friday

Phew. Just made it. Got the vintage pyrovision glasses people! Have you watched meet the pyro yet? I don't want to spoil it for u, so I'll just direct you to my blog that has the vid. Meet the pyro.
Yeah it's pretty cool, I'm trying to get the fed fightin' fedora with radigan cohnager brown paint. Also the duffel bag. The weapons should be pretty cool, and I think it would be pretty good with a brown style. Just look at the amazing thing! You see that down there? That's the Fed Fightin' Fedora with radigan cohnager brown paint. I'll also put the duffel bag with brown paint. Ok, just a little bit more, and...
  
Got it.

Dang, that's pretty small.
Still pretty cool though. It's called the dillinger's duffel. The set is based on a bank robber, get it son?
The weps are right here! If you are a long reader of my blog, you already know these weps.
They are now called the Baby Face's Blaster and the Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol

 There they are, side by side. You should really use this set with the boston basher bat. It looks GANGLIKE.
 
 Remember, he isn't the godfather or anything. That role belongs to the heavy.
 
 As he says, all of you are dead! You yes you! You are dead! All of you are babies!
He's also got his right hand man.
 
Lol. Anyway, if you want a pic of the scout wearing the bank robber set, here.

That's just the publicity blurb. I can't find any other pics. Other than the community one, but that's already taken by another of my posts. I guess I'll still put it on. Get ready for a lot of space to be taken.


That's a lot of space and bye.

YAY MEET THE PYRO YAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Woo meet the pyro! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! I like meet the pyro. It's weird. You should watch it.

Creepy. I don't like the vid. It's weird. And creepy. You know how I feel right now. My steam isn't working, and that's a bummer, because if I don't get it working before next thursday, I don't get my vintage pyrovision glasses. I NEED THIS. My first vintage item. Please, I pray to god that I get this item. Because I like items.
ITEMS! ITEMS! ITEMS! I like items. Need to download this now. NOW! NOW! NOW! Can't be late. I know that I got more than 1 week, but if this dang problem keeps on, I think that I'll have to go to Gabe and give him a piece of my mind. Heh, Gabe, he likes hamburgers. TF2 is the most updated thing ever known. I need to know, WHY IS MY STEAM NOT WORKING. OK, calm down. How big is this update? 5000 TBS?! "Faints" I don't think so, but that's how it feels. I NEED THIS. NEED THIS. NOW. Dammit Dammit Dammit Dammit Dammit! As the engie says. Whyyyyy! Why must you be so terrible! I wonder if F2Ps will get these glasses too? That's another question. Another question to forever ponder about. I want these goggles. I also want these new weapons. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Help! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Pyro is evil. Heavy gets an axe in the face, scout gets flaregunned, sniper gets burnt to a crisp, medic gets trapped in a burning barn. Even his teammates comment on how creepy this guy is.
Heavy: I fear no man. But that thing... It scares me.
Scout: No, I, I aint, I ain't talking about that freak. All right?
Scout: He's not here, is she?
Scout:How do I get this ****** thing off?!
Spy: One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask...
Spy: ...what dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty?
 Those are the words they say.
Have you watched the video yet? Don't read this part until you watched the video.
































































Did you like the fluffy clouds and everything? Weird huh. I don't like that. Pyrovision glasses let you see into the pyro world. LOL. When does the update start? I wonder if it already started? OH NO! Must get update started! YAY! I like the update. I wonder if pyro will now see through pyrovision? LOL?! Not really.
Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol is really hard to make! First, you need the winger! AND MAD MILK! AND RECLAIMED METAL! And I don't have any one of those 3 ingredients.

PROSTHETIC LIMBS

Disabled people usually only have 1 prosthetic limb. BUT! Some have 2 and can still walk, like a bawss.

Tuesday! AKA DAY 2 OF PYROMANIA UPDATE!

Freddie Mercury poses are made around the world as people find that their fave steam workshop items have been converted into REAL WEAPONS. We need CBAST'S CHOO CHOO SET CONVERTED NOW! ALSO THE LAEVATEIN SPY SET! Cbast makes the best sets. And finally, people are all making Jonah Jameson's  AWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! faces around the world because meet the pyro comes out TOMORROW! YAY! WOOHOO! Not just "Woohoo." this is a time to say WOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Some faith in steam workshop has been restored! Do you like my pokemans card? Yea you do! Yeea you do! Fave it! FAVE IT! You know you want to! I also made a ghostly abomination, using that face from the screamer I saw in zf dustbowl. LOL! There are lots of good pokemon cards, some better than mine. But if mine get's in the best of the week because of it's grammar (people writing pokemon cards have really bad grammar these days, except you.), cuteness and finally, funniness. Gooby Hae Gooby Pls Gooby Gooby Pls.
And then everything goes black.

Dolan will kill you and rip your soul out of your nice squishy heart.
LOL! All those dolan haters out there are weird. The comics are pretty funny in a way. But I am no brolan.
Age of brolan has not come yet. LOL creepy. What if that duck is dolan? Whatever, it isn't. Can't be. I believe otherwise. Oh no dolan, don't possess me! NOOOOOO!!!!!!
Hae reedrs, dolan here. Dolan wil rp aut ur saul. No regrts. I weel keel u.
OH MY GAWD THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU DOLAN! No I weel keel u too.
FEEL THE BURN OF THE CROSS!                  Dolan weel b bck. No regrts.
Glad he's gone. I might need to compel him again. I prayed to god. Hi god. God acshully is dolan. Help me satan?! Acshully is dolan too. OH GAWD WHY. Dolan is evryting reedrs. Bai.
NO NOT BYE. I will keep on writing.
Do you like the pyromania update? Are you excited? I am. Dolan is standing right next to me so I should go now. Bye. Actually not bye. I tricked dolan into taking a bath in holy water. He's banished now. Phew.
OK, so far day 2 has been exciting. Scorch shot should be good. I like the scorch shot. I think I should get it with my spare moneys. Actually, I won't have any spare moneys. Better save up.

My own pokemon card

I created this card. LOL.

Monday Blues.

I hate mondays. Especially this one. So many bad things happened to me today. I just kept getting PWNED by enemy players in TF2, and then I decided to do something else. After that, I lost that game so much that I Rage Quitted. I am downloading a new game called Fallen Earth. Why am I even downloading it? It sounds like it sucks. In fact, all the games I did today sucked because I kept losing. Today was the most negative day of the week. NEGATIVE. I need at least 1 positive Monday! ONCE! Oh forget it, this week just turned out bad. Whatever, at least I have next week to look up to. Well, at least the Pyromania update starts today. That's lucky. And good. I love pyromania. Woo meet the pyro! But why does it have to be at the one of the worst weeks that I had? I have a lot of bad weeks, this is just one of them. I've had worse. Don't worry about me. It's just that today sucked. You don't need to care. I should be better tomorrow. Also, people keep stealing fruits from our tree. They don't even care that it's ours. I think that they should pick from that fruit tree over my road. Oh wait, it fell over. Darn storm, always tipping trees over. It tipped my fave tree over too. I guess today was just bad because it was cloudy. Cloudly days normally signify a terrible time.
By the way, I'm writing this at tuesday. And I still got the blues. But I should be better at wednesday. Probably. Or I'm just in a bad mood now because of all my terrible injuries. I went on a hike on saturday, and then I bumped into a vine that coincidentally had lots of thorns that were as sharp as glass. They jammed into my skin and broke off just there. It was terrible. I had to take them out 1 by 1. Oh Akatosh why.
After that, I got bitten by a few insects. And after that a little twig scratched me right down my leg.
 
Whoa, this blog is so long because I'm writing about so many negative things. Guess I'll write about positive things now.

 I did another ZF map. Actually, I did a lot. My brother battled Christian Brutal Sniper in a VSH map. He was really like the Gmod character. He uses a huntsman and a bunch of kukris. The kukris I saw were the Tribalman's Shiv and the Shashanah. If you could get the tribalman's shiv through achievements, that would be good. By the way, in the pyromania update, they have announced a new map and a new game mode! Whoever doesn't have TF2 right now, get it now! A major update is starting! And it is Big!

Whoa, that's all the positive stuff I can write? Pretty terrible. Boo. Today really must have been a negative week! At least the pyromania update is starting. Woo! Woo! Woo! Yes Yes Yes! WOOOOOOOO!

The new map announced is Doomsday. You launch a rocket full of australium to Poopy Joe's rocket.
Nuff' Said. The map should be cool, and I think a lot of fan made maps will now be based on it.

I vote for new pyro weps! 4 Flamethrowers is not enough! 1 more set for the pyro! Vote in the comments, although you never do!

I think this new update is cool. I just hope, hope in my heart that this is gonna be great. If it isn't, I will walk right up to Mr Newell and give him a good slap.

Deus Ex

Maybe I should get this game. Maybe. Looks fun. LOL look at this.

ZF_Dustbowl_V4

Saturday And Sun

On saturday, I did a randomizer server. It was pretty cool, I got a scout with a rocket jumper. So when he double jumped, I could give him an extra boost. I also did zf_dustbowl_b4 today. There are some routes that you should not take. For all you beginners out there, there are screamers hidden in some routes. Screamers are when suddenly, a creepy face like THAT appears on your screen with a bloodcurdling scream.

 

Scary right? By the way, there were scarier faces than this but they were too creepy. But there were also the funny scary faces that were considered.

 

 

Lol right? That's the one. Funny. But a little bit creepy at the same time. Zf dustbowl really gives me the creeps. Don't you think? I know it isn't Halloween yet, but these pics are pretty much similar to what I saw.

 I'm gonna show you some vids of zf dustbowl. There might be some screamers in them, so good luck watching. By the way, the music is kinda creepy. It gets creepier later through the round. Once you capture the first two control points, it gets into a creepy piano song, and after the penultimate control point is capped, a really creepy piano song plays. I bet you don't want to see these pics anymore, so I'll put some pictures of rainbows to wear the scariness off at the end of this post. Happy place, Happy place.

 

By the way, firstly, the music goes into a nice, creepy, but also pretty cool piano solo, but then it turns creepy, and creepier.

Once you hear the second music starting, try not to take dark routes. Screamers are hidden and randomized all around the place. I only know one place where a screamer appears, and that is that path to the fourth control point that goes up and into the building. A creepy randomized face appears there. I nearly jumped out of my seat.

 

 For all you suddenly, scary fans out there, do this map for tf2. And the screamers are not the only scary thing. Guess why it's called zf. Zombie fortress. You are either the red or blu team. Red team is the survivors, but there are 3 classes you can't be in red, scout, heavy, and spy. Because they are the ONLY classes on the blu team, which are the zombies. No npcs here! Careful for spies, sometimes the backstabs are set to stun.

Then they can stun you and then the zombies swarm you! And kill you! As the survivors get killed off, they get moved on to the zombie team. The survivor's objective is to cap all 6 points, the zombies objective is to either stop them from capping the points in time, or kill them all. Once you get to the final control point, it gets pretty scary. The zombie spawns are close to the control point, so you will possibly get swarmed. Usually the zombies win. Once there is only 1 survivor remaining, he will probably die. Because there might be about 20 zombies on the enemy team.

 

 In some servers, there are perks. Choose your perks. Here are the 3 best perks for the survivors and the zombies. Survivors: Athletic (You can move fast and shoot fast, perfect for those always on the move) Juggernaut (You are extremely slow, but you have better attack and defence, plus you aren't damaged by your own explosives or fall damage. You can also knock back enemies with melee. Perfect for close range fighters.) and Leader (Better chance of crits, and you can place rally points that upgrade other survivor's attack and defence. Perfect for, well you know, leaders.)

Zombies: Leap (Can get to very high places easily. Perfect for impatient people.) Magnetic (Disables sentries and they can't spot you. Perfect for frustrated people.) and Vindictive (Upgrades attack and defence permanently per kill. Perfect for professional killers.)

All these classes are cool, but some are changed to be a little weaker. Sentries must reload constantly, and minisentries have a timed life before they destroy themselves. Boo. Still pretty cool though. ZF RULEZ AND BAI.

Thursday Tiem

Sometimes I dream about cheese. Wait? We're on air? Darnit better get my script ready and........
This Thursday, I got the degreaser. That thing is hot. I mean, it will burn any spy into a nice crisp French Fry, If you know what I mean. LOL. I got all the awesome mods that I need. The turret mod was amazing! It launched TNT towards a huge statue. It can also be mounted on chest carts. I destroyed Dr Zombie Pigman's giant robot. LOL. Anyone for a laugh? The robot looked like some skeletal chicken made out of nether brick. The Zombie Pigman survived the barrage of TNT that I shot at him. He's still alive and walking now. Minecraft is awesome. You can also launch cannonballs from the turret. Which is pretty awesome.
There are 3 cannonballs. Normal, Piercing, and Napalm. Normal just goes through blocks. Piercing destroys more blocks than normal. And Napalm is very bouncy, plus, it is very good against wooden buildings.
Do you want this mod? Well search for it, lazy. I've given you too many links already. LOL.
I want more mobs! MORE MOBS! Please. That would be cool. Like, you could trade around with merchants or something. Woo and bye.

Sandvich

Is there a recipe for heavy's sandvich?! If there is, report it to me immediately! SANDVICH IS SO MOIST AND DELICIOUS. I love the sandvich. So far, I just make it out of Bologna!  So if anyone, anyone finds a recipe for sandvich, report it to me immediately. By the way, here is meet the sandvich.

Moist And Delicious, Hahaha. As the heavy says. By the way, don't drink the demoman's scottish handshake. If you do, you'll probably wake up on your ceiling fan with a killer hangover. That stuff is strong.
Strong and old. By the way, I don't drink.
Crit-A-Cola is filled with liquid plutonium. With a grape flavor to hide the bitter taste. I don't know how the scout can gulp it down. Fishcake contains fish bones. Careful. LAWL AND BYE.

Lawl Wednesday

DOO DOO DOO! Hey Xbox 360 players. Why don't you play skyrim? Why don't you change your species in the middle of gaming? LOL NO YOU CANT! But us PC players can! So Bleeh! "Sticks Tongue Out" With the console command "showracemenu". I still forgot to give you some more songs of the "OVER 9000!" That you must hear. I love minecraft mods! The armor stand I got rocks! Plus my buds gave me the turret mod! It actually shoots! GLIMMAR'S STEAMPUNK TEXTURE PACK IS AWESOME! DOWNLOAD IT FOR AWESOMENESS! Sorry, I lost it there. But really. Download this pack.
Glimmar's Steampunk Texture Pack v5 64x for Minecraft 1.2.5
I really love this pack, but I thought I couldn't use it. Until I found version 1.2.5. Now it is gonna be awesome. This is so cool. Better update all of my texture packs. Because Glimmar makes the best texture packs. By the way, The mars mission texture pack sucked. Not woo. I wonder if it will not suck when I compress it. Wee and bye.

Its over 9000! Songs.

Some more songs! With vids!

2 more songs!

The original version...

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin, naal ok zin los vahriin, wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal!
Ahrk fin norok paal graan fod nust hon zindro zaan, Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal!
Huzrah nu, kul do od, wah aan bok lingrah vod, Aahrk fin tey, boziik fun, do fin gein!
Wo lost fron wah ney dov, ahrk fin reyliik do jul, voth aan suleyk wah ronit faal krein!
Ahrk fin zul, rok drey kod, nau tol morokei frod, rul lot Taazokaan motaad voth kein!
Sahrot Thu'um, med aan tuz, vey zeim hokoron pah, ol fin Dovahkiin komeyt ok rein!
Ahrk fin Kel lost prodah, do ved viing ko fin krah, tol fod zeymah win kein meyz fundein!
Alduin, feyn do jun, kruziik vokun staadnau, voth aan bahlok wah diivon fin lein!
Nuz aan sul, fent alok, fod fin vul dovah nok, fen kos nahlot mahfaeraak ahrk ruz!
Paaz Keizaal fen kos stin nol bein Alduin jot, Dovahkiin kos fin saviik do muz!

And the translation...
Dragonborn, Dragonborn, by his honor is sworn, To keep evil forever at bay!
And the fiercest foes rout when they hear triumph's shout, Dragonborn, for your blessing we pray!
Hearken now, sons of snow, to an age, long ago, and the tale, boldly told, of the one!
Who was kin to both wyrm, and the races of man, with a power to rival the sun!
And the Voice, he did wield, on that glorious field, when great Tamriel shuddered with war!
Mighty Thu'um, like a blade, cut through enemies all, as the Dragonborn issued his roar!
And the Scrolls have foretold, of black wings in the cold, that when brothers wage war come unfurled! Alduin, Bane of Kings, ancient shadow unbound, with a hunger to swallow the world!
But a day, shall arise, when the dark dragon's lies, will be silenced forever and then!
Fair Skyrim will be free from foul Alduin's maw, Dragonborn be the savior of men!

Second!

Woo in italic dudes!

I can't keep pushing this down any deeper,
Why do I keep trying if I can't keep her?
Every move I make,
Is just another mistake,
I wonder what it would take,
Because it feels like there's a hole inside my body,
Like there's a hole inside my heart.
It's like this feeling is gonna consume me,
if I keep waiting for this thing to start.
Oh, I feel like I'm all gummed up inside,
It's like I'm all gummed up inside,
It's like I'm all gummed up insi-i-de.... I-i-ide.

2 more songs of the 1000 that you must hear in your life.

We're fahahahahahahaha Finn and Jake! We'll mahahahahahahaha make-e-you make! We'll make you cry! Your momma lies! Jake likes pies, I'm a guy, who will stick my stick, into your eye. And you'll say whywhywhywhywhy. Whywhywhywhywhy. Whywhywhywhywhy. PIZZA!!!11!!!

And of course, the second one.

Our hero, our hero, claims a warrior's heart.
I tell you, I tell you, the Dragonborn comes.
With a Voice wielding power of the ancient Nord art.
Believe, believe, the Dragonborn comes.
It's an end to the evil, of all Skyrim's foes.
Beware, beware, the Dragonborn comes.
For the darkness has passed, and the legend yet grows.
You'll know, You'll know the Dragonborn's come.

Meet The Heavy

This is where it all began.

LOL TUESDAY

Got some of me stuff back on tuesday, mate! I got my scottish handshake back. DYK. Do you remember when I said I shall buy a custom sniper set? Well I got 3/4 of it already. A bunch of baby ducks, send them to the moon, soda machine that doesn't work, send it to the moon, my bro ate my cookie, send him to the moon, monster killed my dog, send him to the moon, that tree looks bad, send it to the moon, maybe all the games I don't need, send them to the moon. Anyone who likes my humor follow my blog. Get ready for more lolz. I got the scottish handshake, who's the man! I am! That's right! Bleep Yeah! Woman broke my computer, send her to the moon, man broke my arm, send him to the moon. Reference Link!
Send them to the moon. Bad quality sorry.

Don't look at our crotches, while we synchronise our watches! Boop Boop Beep Boop Boop Boop Boop Pe Pe Pew, Be be be beep, Be be be beep, synchronised.

DUMB DUMB DUMB!
DUMB DUMB DUMB!
DU-DU-DUMB DUMB DUMB!
(Solo) DUUUUUUUMB DU-DU-DUMB DUMB!
DUMBINER DUMBINER DUMBINER DUMBINER DUMBINER DUMBINER!
DUMB!

And those are 2 songs of the 1000 that you must here in your life.

Werewolf Perks

More werewolf perks! All in favor say aye!

Lol M'aiq

M'aiq's father was also called M'aiq. As was M'aiq's father's father. At least, that's what he said.
Lol how did this get italic? Whatever it's a mystery I'll solve later. Wait I solved it.
M'aiq carries two weapons, to be safe. What if one breaks? That would be most unlucky.
That's just the wiki. Laugh Out Loud. More quotes coming soon.
Some say Alduin is Akatosh, some say M'aiq is a liar. Don't believe any of these things.

Nord's armor has lots of fur. This sometimes makes M'aiq nervous.

Lawl Mondoy

Today, I traded my Brass Beast for 2 mediguns! The quick fix and the Kritz. The guy who gave me them was so generous. I also finally got a friend in steam! Flamezrock. That's his name! I am called The1337Demigod, Demi for short. Lawl. Lawl Indeed. I can haz Eureka Effect?
Pls. I really want the Braniac set for the engie. If any of u can help, that would be great. Pls help.
That is pretty much everything that happened to me on this day. Pretty boring huh? I wish there were more things you could do. By the way, I'm trapped in a prison in solitude. I went right in front of general tullius and he did not even care one bit. I wonder what happens when you go in front of tullius when you join the stormcloaks? You'd probably be dead soon enough. Probably. I wish Skyrim wasn't so boring. Now it is again. I need a new game. Probably one of the FPS sort. Fallout fo' sure. For sure. Yep, i'm sure. I wonder what I should look like? Fallout New Vegas or Fallout 3. Choose pls. Maybe I should get S.T.A.L.K.E.R Shadow Of Chernobyl. Probably. Because that game is pretty awesome. Burers are the creepiest pplz in the land of Chernobyl. They make childish sounds to lure you in, and then they strike! Snorks are also pretty scary. Bloodsuckers are just weird. Bye.

Meet The Demoman (BY VALVE NOT ME)

Meet The Pyro, by Valve (Not Me Again)

I like mall

I go to the mall all of the time. Because I got one that is not very far from me! Hah. Well I bet you do too, so that's not so great. LOL.

LOL

I LOVE STEAM! <3<3<3<3 (\o/)

Werewolf time

I wonder if it is possible to be a werewolf and an argonian?

LOL Only Sun

On Sunday, I got the machina by drop! It was foretold! LOL! I also got every part of a set except the hat.
Man, I wish I still had my awesome stuff. Whatever. I also did some stuff on Friday. LIKE FINISH THE MAIN QUEST OF SKYRIM. LOL! Yea I did. I got the call of valor shout, but I don't think that's a big enough reward. After that, I defeated all of the dragon priests and got the mask Konahrik. After my friend did. Because he wasn't busy doing the main quest! Boo! Boo! Boo! BOOOOOOOOOOO! I want a good reward for my troubles. Alduin was pretty easy for a last boss, and his death was not very epic. I wanted to stab him in the head and cut his head off. But he just dissipated into the skies of sovngarde. NOT EPIC YOU HEAR ME NOT EPIC. I will get the mace of molag bal with cheats LOL. But once I finally get it without cheats, I'll throw the old one in a great big river where an old man might find it and give it to his idiot son who loves maces. I will also get namira's ring. BECAUSE I AM A CANNIBAL BLARG! LOL! If you want namira's ring, you must eat human flesh!

Dun Dun Dun

Hay. I got the Loch N Load and The Ulapool Caber. The Former by trade and the latter by drop. W00T! All I need now is only 1 thing. The hat.

Main Quest For Glory AKA Thursday.

I met Paarthurnax. If you want to clear that barrier to take down that weird force field that blocks you from the throat of the world, you better use this shout... Clear Skies. LOK VAH KOOR! And the shield is down.
Here are the claws I found. The Ivory Claw, The Golden Claw and The Emerald Claw. You might be wondering; If you finish all of the main quests, will you still fight dragons? The answer is: Yes.
Happy Happy Joy Joy. You might want to play some saves for minecraft by this guy. He created 2 saves for minecraft that I got. The black house and the eye. I have no idea where TheEnd.jpg is.
The Eye is a really fun map, I made a shrine to the eye. Where I defeated it. It was pretty cool.
It's made out of nether brick. And some soul sand and netherrack.

More Dragon Priests Down aka Wednesday.

I killed a lot more dragon priests! Here are their names: Volsung, Otar and Krosis. Me and my bud have defeated a lot of dragon priests. He defeated 3, I defeated 4. I got Morokei, Volsung, Otar and Krosis.
He's got Morokei, Krosis and Hevnoraak. He's busy getting daedric artifacts, so I think it's pretty hard for him. He got the mace of molag bal. It's a pretty good grab, because it can fill soul gems.
I want the black star. It should be much better than azura's star. I got the daedric sword of the inferno.
I'm gonna try to get nightingale armor. Along with the bow. But not the blades. I'll use enchanted ebony daggers instead. I want you to tell me which enchantment for me to use in the comments. Nah jk. Nobody comments anyway. I'll choose my own enchantment. You know I will. Normally, it will be a high level health absorbing enchantment, but I might choose something else. I know! A Ebony Dagger Of The Vampire plus an Ebony Dagger Of Subsuming. But in case of mages, I'll also have the Ebony Dagger Of The Sorcerer ready. Actually, that would be too much work. Should I give my enemies shock damage? Maybe. If that's possible. The Inferno enchantment is the highest level enchantment for fire enchantments. Frost maybe.
There is a shock damage enchantment. The highest level enchantment being the Storms enchantment.
If you got soul gems, you will love soul trap enchantments.

CLAIDHEAMHMOR

How in the world do you pronounce that? Yea. U cant.

Dragon Priest Mask Day! AKA Tuesday.

And a lot of dragon priest masks were found that day......... Yes, they were. My bud found Hevnoraak and I found the wooden mask. The dragon priest mask pedestal was pretty cool. I fought Morokei, so I put his mask there and went away. I am now right in front of the tomb of Otar The Mad. The tomb is called Ragnvald.
I'm gonna post a map of Ragnvald here. I am on a quest to find all of the dragon priest masks. The final one I might find that isn't Konahrik is probably gonna be Nahkriin. You have to fight him to get into Sovngarde. Kohnarik is made out of gold. GOLD.
Nahkriin is a good mask to wear with ebony armor, because it is the same strength as an ebony helmet. The mask I'm trying to get is called Volsung. I can get better prices from merchants with it. If I find this dragon priest's ruin, I will climb the mountain until I reach the peak. Volsung, here I come. His tomb will be pretty hard to find, but all I can say is that it's near Solitude. If I find it early, that should be pretty good. Volskygge is a very easy ruin, if you only want the dragon priest mask. Just climb the mountain. You should get to the peak of Volskygge in a snap! I will tell you where all the dragon priests are. But their locations are hard to decribe. Konahrik is just a mask, no fighting needed.

Volskygge(Volsung): Far west of Solitude.

Ragnvald(Otar): North of Markarth.

Valthume(Hevnoraak): South-West of Rorikstead.

Labyrinthian(Morokei): South-East of Morthal.

Shearpoint(Krosis): West of Windhelm.

High Gate Ruins(Vokun): West of Dawnstar.

Forelhost(Rahgot): South-East of Riften.

Skuldafn(Nahkriin): Cannot be reached by conventional means, use Odahviing.

Dragon Priest Shrine(Konahrik): Near Labyrinthian. You need all the dragon priest masks to unlock this one.

                                             

Bleak Falls Barrow.

This quest, for some reason, is one of the hardest quests i've ever seen. You fight draugrs, and a dragon priest at the end. It's really hard. I had to level up a lot before doing the quest.

Monday

On monday, I didn't do much. Just played some TF2. Like gravelpit, and an achievement server. I am now using the eyelander with the splendid screen for the demoman. I need the Persian Persuader. I also need Ali baba's wee booties back. I need the full set for the 1001 demonights. Including the hat.
In skyrim, I tried the staff of magnus. It shoots sparks that absorb your enemies magicka or health. I also got telekinesis. I got thalmor robes! I wear them sometimes. I will get the Arch-Mage robes. You know I will.
Gonna show you the code for master robes OF DESTRUCTION. The code is........................................
0010d678. The master robes look lame. If you are an argonian. Like me. Maybe I should wear the master robes of destruction. Along with a circlet of peerless destruction and a ring of peerless destruction. No, better stick with the adept robes. When I got out of labyrinthian, I found another frost troll. Skyrim rules and bye. Also!  This is my 100th post! Horray!

Sat and Sun

On saturday I played TF2 and got a lot of new weapons. I also traded a lot and got me a cow mangler and a righteous bison. I mostly played skyrim though. I got the Mehrunes' Razor thru cheats. I am in the college of winterhold now, I just defeated morokei and got the staff of magnus. I finally got to Mzulft, but it was not as fun as I thought it would be. No centurions. Well this was a disappointment! I found out that Mzinchaleft has an entry to blackreach in it. But you need some kind of orb. Next ruin up for exploration! Bthardamz.
After I save the college. That's gonna be hard work. I do not need help with this. I got the staff of magnus. That's enough help. I use the Mehrunes' razor along with some other stuff. I'm gonna be the arch-mage and I'm gonna be a good one. I will also join the dark brotherhood. I will wear the shrouded robes, dual wield Mehrunes' Razors and also use a Daedric bow and arrow. Do you think that I should get some more daedric artifacts? Yes? Yay.

NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

Thursday

Giddy Up! Got the gunslinger by drop! Bad thing, I also got a Mann' Co crate and I'm a scrooge when it comes to steam wallets. I hate keys. They're expensive. Really expensive. For a key, I mean.
 
I also got the full head of steam. Of course, for completing 7 foundry achievements. It's good spy deterrent, because if a spy backstabs me and disguises as me with the eternal reward, he won't be wearing the hat. A bug that is great for spy checking. Haha!

 I'm trying to get the chargin' targe. It should match my eyelander. Yes I got the eyelander. The great things about the eyelander is that it's made out of pattern-wielded Damascus steel, it's harmonically balanced, it was slow-forged for generations in the bowels of captured English kings, and it's haunted. That's why it mutters heads. It's pretty funny actually. Don't you think so? I like this new weapon. I got it by drop. Which is pretty cool.

 I also threw one of my enemies into a furnace in foundry.

 I don't even know why TF2 is getting kind of boring now. Did you hear me? Boring! I am so darn bored! I just want to go out into a huge field and shoot bears. But that's impossible. All I want to do in my life is to be able to use a gun and shoot it. Then my life would be complete. But no, you have to be in the army to use a gun so all I can use is a hunting rifle! That's just crazy madness. I want to be able to use something like an M16 and shoot bears! BEARS! Like some big grizzly about 10 feet tall or something. Anything's OK, I JUST WANT TO GO SHOOT A BEAR NOW! And that's not all! I also want to shoot an alligator, or a shark, or a

Wednesday

Nothing that good happened today, I just played Super Monday Night Combat and nothing else. So I think I should write a game review like I did yesterday. Today, we shall have a game review on............................
Serious Sam 3 BFE! Pics of the monsters are gonna be littered all around the place. Without captions, so you'll have to guess their names themselves. Some of the pics are just artwork, the ones with the grey background are not artwork. Those 5 are pretty much the 5 worst baddies. Put the names together with the pics! First, we have the Aurigan Cave Demon. He likes to hop around stealthily, and attack quick enough to bite your head off. Secondly, we have the Gnarr, a monster that walks like a gorilla. If you use a Double Barrel Coach Gun against them in the HD versions of the TFE and TSE, their whole face might come off. Leaving only the bottom part of it's jaw left. Also, in BFE you can rip their eye clean out of their skull and use it as a weapon. Thirdly, we have the cloned rifleman, who is extremely susceptible to getting his neck snapped. Huttah, NECK SNAP! And then he falls on the ground, dead. Fourth, we have the Khnum, a giant horned creature that will stop at nothing to turn you into a Serious Sammich. You'll have to use C4s against this big baddie. About 3 and he's down. An alternate solution is the rocket launcher, but that takes forever. Lastly, we have Ugh Zan IV, a giant dude who can only be defeated by getting struck by lightning.
He will also stop at nothing to turn you into a Sammich Ala Mode. He's also the final boss. This is one of my favorite games. I think I should get it on steam. Do you think so? OK. Something fun for you to do. Watch the Dora The Explorer show and when she asks what you liked, say "I liked it when Boots got thrown down into the Big Old Well and was eaten by a Rabid Racoon-Badger Hybrid". She should say "I liked that too". Lol. Something to do with a child's show.  Also, if you hear the we did it song about to start, switch off the Television immediately. I don't want to hear another verse from that song again. Please tell your little sister to move on and watch another show, in fact, Pokemon is even good enough. SS3-BFE rules and bye.

Tuesday

Advanced RIG

Scorpion Level Engineering RIG.

Maybe I should get this new game! Dead Space. Actually, forget that. OMG that game is horrifying. Especially the ending. But the RIGs are cool. RIG stands for Resource Integration Gear. There are pictures of my favorite RIGs all around this post. Plus some pictures of the enemies. They're horrifying so I'll only show you the least scary ones. The one on the side of this blog, yes the red one, is the Scorpion Level Engineering RIG, or the Scorpion Suit for short. Down near the bottom, yes, the thing with the big teeth, is called the brute. The only thing that scares me about it is that it's composed of lots of corpses. Well, duh. The enemies are zombies. And that one down there is only the least horrifying. Well, not really. I bet you won't be horrified of the stalkers. See that thing just under the text. Yeah, that slim thing. That's a stalker. There are rumors about how it's made, the best being that it's composed of bovine parts. Their name describes what they do. They stalk you, mostly hiding behind boxes. That explains the boxes behind him. He normally tries to hit you while you aren't looking. Just like the Augrian Cave Demon from SS3-BFE. Warning: this game is not for the faint of heart. If a stalker pounces on you and downs you, and you fail to fight it back, it will rip off the offending appendage and headbutt you until you're unconscious. And then drag you into a dark corner.
The brute's death scene is much more gory. It's hard to describe. Oh wait. It's easy to describe. It rips all your appendages. By flailing you all around the place. I don't think you want to see that, do you. Of course not. But if you do, just go to the wiki. The scary thing about this game is not the monsters, but Space. No one can hear you scream up there. Please, if you want to play awesome scary games that aren't this gory, stick to Amnesia-The Dark Descent. That game isn't gory but the monsters are horrifying. It actually isn't their looks, it's that you have to hide from them. The only way to kill them is to lead them off a cliff. It takes place in a castle, so there aren't many cliffs. So if you're that kind of person that just charges into battle, this game isn't for you. Faint of heart and like to charge into battle? Then please stick to Call Of Duty. Like I do.

Stalker.

Brute.

 

Monday

I just cut a popsicle stick in half with a papercutter. Really. Oh, wait, director? That wasn't in the script? Ok, give me the script. Ok. Sorry about that. TF2 is pretty cool. I'm gonna try to get the Grordbort sets for the soldier, pyro and engineer. The cheapest way to get them is to buy the Dr Grordbort's Victory Pack and The Dr Grordbort's Moonbrain Pack. I wish all 3 sets could be put in one pack. But the Victory Pack is the only one that isn't combined with the other packs. The other 2 sets are combined into 1 pack. The Moonbrain pack. It consists of the Dr Grordbort Brainiac set and the Dr Grordbort Moonman set. Here are pics of all 3 sets. They should be right under all this text. I will also get the another Christmas set (Yes, the Grordbort sets are from the Christmas update. Well, except for the victory pack. That was included in the Dr Grordbort's Victory Pack update.) called Santa's Little Accomplice. Sounds evil huh? And creepy. Basically, it's the scout with an elf suit on, using wrapping paper as a weapon.

Dr Grordbort's Moonman Set with Phlogistinator Equipped

Dr Grordbort's Brainiac Set with Eureka Effect Equipped

Dr Grordbort's Victory Set with Righteous Bison Equipped

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OMG

The Grordbort Pack weapons are real! Here is a pic of the real manmelter! You don't believe me you say? Just go to the internet and search Grordbort. You should find the website. You can buy them. They probably don't shoot though.

I Almost Forgot....

TODAY IS A BIRTHDAY PARTY! YAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! B-DAY! To the creator of Hans' Blog, aka Hans, aka My Bro.

Saturday And Sunday

WAIT! SMNC does not suck! It's actually pretty good! With the new update I can finally join servers! Forget assassin, I got a new class that I become all the time, and he is called........................................
Cheston. Lame name, kinda lame looks (see the pic) and lame style. The only thing good about him, and this is why he's the most efficient class used by me, is that he has a PULSE TOMMYGUN! A PULSE TOMMYGUN! He also uses explosive barrels(donkey kong style)

See his skills in this pic. Along with his PULSE TOMMYGUN! See the difficulty to use this class? Very little. By the way, is he locked in this pic? On mine he was always unlocked. Not much happening on TF2, the only thing is that I got a new hat: The Flamingo Kid. For an achievement in SMNC. It's the gunslinger's hat. Here is a picture of the gunslinger and the sniper wearing the Flamingo Kid for comparison.

 You know, maybe you should get this game. It's free. If you don't like cheston, you might like assassin, or combat girl, or support, or captain spark, or tank, or Wasco- wait a minute. Nobody likes Wascot.
  Yep, that's wascot.
 If you think that's ugly, you should see his baby outfit. OMG.
 I will never become any of these classes other than cheston. MNC rules and bye.